On Sunday, Robert Mugabe said: “I, Robert Gabriel Mugabe, do swear that I will, well and truly, serve Zimbabwe in the office of President - so help me God.”

Yesterday, we saw Mugabe, as a‘world leader’ making a complete fool of himself to an ITV reporter who had asked him under what authority he was the President of Zimbabwe, to which Mugabe answered, “The same authority that makes Gordon Brown Prime Minister of Zimbabwe” - or words to that effect.

After a brief physical altercation with Mugabe’s close security personnel, Mugabe was heard to be baying, “Bloody idiots!”

Then ,this morning we hear that Mugabe’s spokesman, George Chiramba, has said: “They can go and hang a thousand times, they have no basis, they have no claim on Zimbabwean politics at all.” (“They” being the West.)

Okay - so let’s look at these two incidents in the broad light of day.

Mugabe swore an oath on Sunday that he would serve Zimbabwe (and hence, Zimbabweans) to the best of his ability. For the last 28 years Mugabe has done everything else but serve the people. So his swearing in on Sunday was a farce, and to cap it all, he picked up a Bible and said, “So help my God.”

Mugabe would have us believe that he is appointed by God, not the voters (and we know that at least this time around, he was not appointed by the people), and here he is, in public, swearing an oath under God to serve! He also makes the nonsensical claim that only God can remove him from power.

Mmmm.

His outburst on Monday in Egypt shows the true colours of Mugabe. He classes himself above all other mortal beings, and will resort to behaviour unbecoming of a world leader. But then again, he isn’t a world leader - he is a bully that has used every trick in the book to remain in power, that’s all.

Having cursed the journalist, Mugabe probably would have been better to have made his Sunday oath, “I swear”… and leave it at that.

This morning’s statement by the erstwhile Chiramba also deserves some sort of mention.

If you get the time, listen to the telephone interview that Violet Gonda, of SW Radio Africa, had with Chiramba a few days ago.

The man becomes virtually apoplectic with Violet, who was asking questions which he refused to answer. He made allegations that SWRA was a wing of the MDC, going even further, stating that the radio station was a part of an English ploy to befoul Mugabe’s rule.

I was absolutely amazed when Chiramba told Violet that he knew where she came from and that the people of her village would know of her poor reporting skills. He screamed: “Come back to Zimbabwe! That is where the real fight is!”

He was frothing at the mouth and began to pick Violet apart for asking what appeared, to me at least, to be quite rational questions.

Chiramba finished the call by speaking over Violet, accusing her of all manner of allegiances and crimes, and telling her that Mugabe’s government would rule for ever in Zimbabwe, and that ZANU PF would NEVER - EVER hand power to the English puppets (the MDC).

Poor Violet. But she finished the interview and was obviously relieved. So was I, because having a madman shouting at you on the end of a telephone cannot be what is described as ‘fun’.

So - when you have a spokesman who will say whatever fits, and will launch himself headlong into a telephone interview with a temper than knows no boundaries, and when you have a virtually self-appointed President of the country swearing at journalists - well, one might have to reconsider whereabouts in the pecking order Zimbabwe might lurk.

On these standards, not very high at all.

Robb WJ Ellis
The Bearded Man