The Deputy Minister for Youth in Zimbabwe, Thamsanqa Mahlangu, has been arrested for allegedly stealing the mobile telephone of Joseph Chinotimba, the head of the Zimbabwe War Veterans’ Association.

The charge may seem somewhat small in the grand scheme of things, but as I wrote in my blog today, “yet another MDC minister has been caught up in the ZANU PF web of deception”.

Perhaps the most interesting thing that has come out of this story, is the fact that Chinotimba has since filed papers to sue Mahlangu for in excess of US$19 million for “loss of income”.

Now, the telephone was out of his possession for about two weeks - so let’s peg it at 14 days. That means that Chinotimba has a daily turnover of US$135714.28 or an hourly take of US$56547.62 - an incredible US$942.46 per minute!

I would assume, that with such an amazing turnover, that Chinotimba has a registered company - though I doubt it - and I would love to know what it is that he does to attract such a turnover.

Does he charge per punch, per kick - or perhaps by centimetre of stitches?

We must also be aware that this man claimed ZW$50000 in the early 1980’s for injuries received in the Rhodesian bush war - the Chimurenga.

I would love to know what injuries he sustained - and what he claimed for…

At that time, there were claims flying in from all sides, and, if the claims were to be believed, then many of those that were paid out should either have been dead or incapable of holding any official office - but 30 years later, they are still there!

Chinotimba has a chequered past. Indeed, his name is linked with the brutal murder of an MDC activist during the political violence last year. But do we see him being arrested or even questioned for these acts? In typical ZANU PF style - no.

He has not had it easy - but he is a known brigand, a known agitator and a known breaker of whatever law he chooses. And for some reason, Mugabe tolerates it, and allows him a free hand.

Chinotimba is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many more just like him that recognise that if they stay loyal and close to Mugabe, there is much for them to pick up off the table.

US$135714.28 turnover a day calculates at US$49535712 per annum… or a cool £30200651 per year at today’s rates.

I can think of a few companies here in the UK that would be very happy with that sort of turnover.

Not bad for a man who grew up with a limited education and knows not much more than violence and death.

His telephone must be gold plated and diamond encrusted… Maybe those diamonds originated to the diamond fields of Marange.

And I cannot see any court allowing this civil claim.

Chinotimba would have to get the mobile phone service provider to prove that he missed x number of calls - Chinotimba would then have to prove in open court where those calls were from and what they constituted by way of business - I cannot see a few days without a phone meaning that he has lost business worth US$19 million - if that were so, then he must be a business guru of note!

Definitely not so…

Robb WJ Ellis
The Bearded Man